As I completed my Masters of Education in Administration and Leadership degree, I had the privilege of hearing Bruce Beairsto speak about leadership in schools, as a "dance between a manager and leader". In my grad program we focused on "leadership," almost to the extent where I had discarded the role of a manager completely—I won’t manage, I will lead! This is what I would repeat to myself. Beairsto’s framework, the two faces of an administrator, clarified my understanding of the fine balance between a manager (masterful so errors and pitfalls do not occur; reliable the scripts at play for efficient running and operations of the school; certain making people feel confident; and boss taking charge of crisis(es) and managing well), and a leader (intimate-fully engaged in a personal way; playful-learning through their engagement and exploration; curious-unscripted behaviour and experimental in nature; and colleague-support). As a leader, I understood these two faces of an administrator to be a paradox—it is never going to be a simple or clear career, free of tension. In some sense this is a relief to know!